Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
