i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
