i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
