Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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