I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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