I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm really busy with my period
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