Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"

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(518): View more from New York

Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!

(218): View more from Minnesota

I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(501): View more from Arkansas

I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.

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(903): View more from Texas

Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.

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(406): View more from Montana

Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better

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(607): View more from New York

Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.

(607): View more from New York

It's just disrespectful

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