I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Found your dick twin last night
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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