If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background