Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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