Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
