you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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