he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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