is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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