i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
