and you said cock pushups were impossible
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
