Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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