Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
