All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
