fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
