I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
sarcasm needs its own font
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
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Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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