For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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