That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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