i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
