ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
