Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
