I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
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