i just google imaged poop.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
