Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize