The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
