Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
