She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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