Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
