____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
