just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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