hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
