Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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