Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
