I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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