ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
