I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
