We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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