My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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