How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
