you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
