Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
