Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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