how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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