Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
