I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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