Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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