if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
