apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
