Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  ad ew i am wasted whats my problem

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  (415): ad ew i am wasted whats my problem http://tfl.nu/k96e
  Replies (1) Good night (1138) Bad night (1173)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.

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  (781): i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up. http://tfl.nu/navv
  Replies (12) Good night (4780) Bad night (785)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!

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  (303): Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties! http://tfl.nu/mly2
  Replies (12) Good night (894) Bad night (4711)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.

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  (417): Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library. http://tfl.nu/8guv
  Replies (13) Good night (1037) Bad night (4837)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records

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  (515): we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records http://tfl.nu/b40n
  Replies (23) Good night (4772) Bad night (671)
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  (315): View more from New York

  my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.

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  (315): my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say. http://tfl.nu/ygp4
  Replies (20) Good night (6218) Bad night (1141)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.

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  (708): This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight. http://tfl.nu/ioqv
  Replies (30) Good night (9507) Bad night (1023)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you

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  (740): I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you http://tfl.nu/cn0s
  Replies (19) Good night (2885) Bad night (1779)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...

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  (917): The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline... http://tfl.nu/p4q2
  Replies (1) Good night (2293) Bad night (1006)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.

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  (941): We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships. http://tfl.nu/x14j
  Replies (5) Good night (2931) Bad night (834)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.

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  (505): Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you. http://tfl.nu/v68r
  Replies (9) Good night (978) Bad night (480)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte

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  (856): she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte http://tfl.nu/jlfx
  Replies (3) Good night (912) Bad night (352)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.

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  (+61): I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis. http://tfl.nu/imc2
  Replies (7) Good night (1291) Bad night (435)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday

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  (434): All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday http://tfl.nu/0n0q
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (277)
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  (831): View more from California

  I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.

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  (831): I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it. http://tfl.nu/3v3l
  Replies (2) Good night (157) Bad night (464)

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