the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
