So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
