sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
