Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
