i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize