He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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