Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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