my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
