So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
