She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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