Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
