oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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